36 hours (to a hangover) in Washington, D.C.

Mr. C and I are a big fan of the New York Times travel section. We even used one of their articles as a guide during our honeymoon and had a fantastic time (tipsily) biking from brewery to brewery. I am particularly fond of their "36 hours in . . ." series. So, you can imagine my excitement when I saw that they published a "36 Hours in Washington, D.C." last month.  Would they talk about the city's penchant for all you can eat, all you can drink brunches? Would they cover our fantastic local beers, like DC Brau, (that kick Brooklyn Brewery's ass)? Or the widely acclaimed Newseum? Or point out that you can drink sangria in the sculpture garden and pretend to listen to jazz every summer friday?

No. Instead, they talked about the Botanical Gardens and Eastern Market . . . Apparently, anyone visiting DC for 36 hours is either 80 yrs old or boring. The only time anyone goes into the Botanical Gardens is to get some free air conditioning without the hordes of children that plague every other Smithsonian museum. Obviously, the record has to be set straight. I'm by no means an expert, but as someone who frequently finds herself in DC for quick weekend trips, here's my (non-definitive) guide to how to spend 36 plus, cocktail-fueled hours in our nation's capital.  

1. Mini Bar Crawl in Shaw | 6:00 PM 

You've just gotten off the bus at Union Station. After spending the last 4.5 hours listening to your neighbor complain loudly about their boss and draining your phone battery searching for the mysterious "wifi" signal that Bolt promised . . .  you're in desperate need of a libation. And, more importantly, a little separation from your fellow man. You could hit up one of DC's many fantastic happy hours (check out: www.dchappyhours.com). More likely, however, you need something a little stronger . . . something like a mini-bar crawl. I'd recommend heading over to 7th St NW and checking out Derek Brown's three bars, conveniently all located on the same block. Start with a cocktail pitcher, some raw oysters, and a bowl of the Chowderhead at Eat the Rich (and no, I would not judge if you got a pitcher for yourself. In fact, I'd join you). Next, stumble head next door to Southern Efficiency. You can't go wrong with the White Whiskey and Smoked Cola (I know it sounds weird, but I promise, it's delicious) or if you really want to get serious, one of their mint juleps. Warning: you will have bourbon breath the rest of the night. Finish off the bar crawl with a flight of sherry (just trust the bartenders recommendations) and a charcuterie plate at Mocking Bird Hill. 

2. H St | 10 PM

At this point, you're probably feeling more charitable towards the world again and are ready to kick it up a notch. Grab an uber and head over to H St. The NYtimes guide did a fairly good job of covering the best H St bars. Though they tragically neglected to mention the dancing and peach schnapps slushies at Little Miss Whiskeys. 

3. Saturday AM | whenever you wake up:

If it's your first time to DC, you probably feel obligated to see at least a few of the sites. This is where, as your good friend, I would kindly point you in the direction of the National Mall and then go back to sleep for a few more hours while you got all cultural. I kid . . . sort of. Actually, my favorite way to see the monuments is to go for an early-ish morning run around the mall, which lets you soak in all of the key sites (which actually are quite beautiful, especially the Jefferson), while giving you an excuse to dodge around all the tourists. If running's not your thing, you can rent a bike from the Capital Bikeshare.

4. Day Drinking on 14th St | Saturday 3 PM

After touring the monuments (and a shower) if you're really into site seeing, you can pop into National Art Gallery, which is always lovely (and currently has a Van Gogh and Degas exhibit), or forego the free options for the Newseum, which I've heard is amazing and really do mean to visit one of these days. But don't linger too long because you're going to want to head back up 14th street to grab a table at the Garden District Beer Garden (previously known as the Standard) before the post-brunch crowd descends on it. Don't be daunted by all the wannabe hipsters . . .   or the lines for the bathroom. Just nonchalantly perch yourself at the edge of a table and wait for a spot to open up. Put on your big girl (or boy) pants and order a liter of the kostritzer schwarzbier or the heffe-weisbier. Also, make sure you flag down the donut guy making batches of fresh, piping hot donuts for a dollar. If you're seriously brave, or aggressively want to scare away your neighbors, you can also get a whole, smoked hogs head.

Sidenote: If it really is too crowded for you, a solid second option is American Ice Company, where you can sample the local beers (get the DC Brau Citizen) and indulge in pulled pork nachos on their patio.

5. Mediterranean Feast | 8:30 PM

If you haven't fill up on too many pulled pork nachos or donuts, grab dinner at Kapnos, Mike Isabella's (of Top Chef fame) Mediterranean restaurant. It opened last year and has quickly become one of my favorite new spots in DC. Definitely go with a group so you can sample a bunch of their mezzes. My favorite is the whole roast bronzino. Or you might be tempted by the leg of lamb roasting on a spit. The cocktails are pretty amazing as well.

6. 14th St/U St Bar Crawl | Till the wee hours of the morning

There are a lot of great neighborhoods in DC but the 14th St corridor is one of my favorite and has a wealth of options for whatever suits your mood. Craving some more beer? Hit up Churchkey, which has over 500 beers including a huge selection of beers on tap. Last time I was there, the bartenders were also offering their own, homemade fireball-style cinnamon whiskey. Feeling more like dancing? Try Dodge City, which has the added advantage of two large patios. Or, do you want to risk some green-fairy inspired hallucinations? 1905 is a small, but quirky bar that serves absinthe. Just be warned, you’ll have to wait ten minutes while your drink drips over a sugar cube from some elaborate contraption. If cocktails are more your scene, you could try Two Birds One Stone where the menus are freshly sketched and illusrated every week.  Or, my all time favorite bar, Bar Pilar, which quietly has some of the best cocktails (and people watching) in the city without the side of pretention that you might find at The Gibson. Pilar always have something new and surprising. Last time I was there, they were doing pina coladas with a fermented strawberry syrup  . . . or you can’t go wrong with one of their house made gin and tonics.

Finally, you’re probably going to be a little peckish at 3 A.M. (especially after lifting those liters of beer all afternoon). Don’t let anyone talk you into a jumbo slice (google it if you don't know what I'm talking about). Trust me, your stomach and your arteries will thank you. Instead, stop at Taylor Gourmet for a hoagie or check out &Pizza for a chipotle-style, build-your own flatbread.

7. Brunch Like A Champion | 1 PM ('cause who brunches before noon?)

DC is all about brunch . . . especially in the summer when there’s no lack of outdoor patios. So make sure you have a late return flight or bus scheduled and save time (and room) for one of the city's many bottomless brunches. Mr. C and mine's two favorites are are El Centro DF (“Mexican comfort food”) and the less well known, Agora, (Turkish/Mediterranean). The thing these two brunch spots have in common is:  excellent food, served in small or mid-sized portions meant for sharing; excellent brunch drinks (mimosas at Agora and Aqua Frescas at El Centro); and an all-you-can-eat-all-you-can-drink brunch special for under $35. If you go to El Centro, make sure to try the French toast and the Chile Relleno. At Agora, save room for several orders of the Htipiti (roasted red peppers, thyme, feta, and a bit of magic) and the Cilbir.

8. Who's Counting at This Point? 

I'm pretty sure that's more than 36 hours and possibly more than any one person should drink in a weekend . . .